The Spinning Game

Something got into my daughter last night. I truthfully have no idea what. I didn't give her sugar, so she wasn't wired. And she woke up from her nap slightly cranky, so it couldn't have been too much sleep.

But all of a sudden, she was absolutely silly! Before Brett got home, her and I played the spinning game in the living room for 20+ minutes....SOLID. Mommy was worn out by the time Daddy got home and she STILL wanted to spin. So we taped her at the end of her playing....so cute.

I wanna be like her....

My little Hazel spends all day, every day trying to do what I do. She wants to help me do the laundry, vacuum, cook lunch/dinner. She has to climb the stairs the way I do (which scares me to death, so it's gated) and come down the stairs the way I do (which means I currently have a carpet burn on my butt and thighs so we both learn the "proper" way to do it). She only wants to sit on the couch the way I do (with my legs hanging over the side, which means she scoots all the way to the edge so HER legs hang over). She answers the phone the way I do, repeats things I say and in the TONE I use.

She wants so bad to be big enough and do everything Mommy does. And I know it won't last forever, so I'm trying to enjoy it while it's going on. And I try to remember what she's watching and learning so I'm a little more careful with what I do every day.

But watching her this morning, I realized how much I want to be like her! I want to be excited about life the way she is. I wanna break out in dance every time I hear a song I like...and not worry about what I look like when I'm doing it or where I'm doing it. She's OK with her body (she's big on playing with her belly button) and believes people when they tell her she's pretty...but not in an "Oh, I know." way! She has no problem saying no if she doesn't like or want something or if she's had enough. Now, I know a lot of this is because she doesn't know any better, but why do we have to know better? Why can't we just accept life as it is? She's not afraid to try new things or attempt to conquer the world. And she's happy as a lark.

I wanna be like her!

Colds and Christmas

So, we're entering our 3rd week of the creepy crud (again, yes, that is a technical term). I've been sick for all 3, and Brett and Hazel have been sniffly for a little over 1. I'm giving it until the 21st to move out. that's the deadline for feeling good. Especially as we're flying out on the 22nd. Hazel seems in good spirits, though, which I'm greatful for.

I put new clothes on her today. Well, not new new, but she's not worn them yet. A top we got on super clearance at Kohl's, it's Carter's onesie in 18 mos!!!! And it's almost on the small side! then she's wearing Old Navy jeans in 12-18 mos and it's almost snug! And b/c she's got short legs it's about 1/2 inch short. She's getting far too big far too fast I tell ya. I can't believe she'll be 15 months on Saturday.

Yesterday, Brett and I broke down and decided to open one Christmas present each. I got a cool headset for my IPod Shuffle, which plugs right into the headset so there's no cords to wrerstle with when I'm on the treadmill or cleaning. They're really neat. I got Brett a dress shirt for work (not fun, but sexy). And Hazel got a Barbie Vacuum! She's been "helping" me vacuum, so we thought she'd have fun with a little one of her own. She's not stopped playing with it since last night.

To my Brett...

Things I love about being married to Brett. (in no particular order)

1. The look on his face when he sees me after a long day at work.
2. The look on his face when he sees Hazel after a long day at work.
3. How much he loves Hazel.
4. How much he loves Me.
5. Playing Monopoly with him (and winning about 1ce a year).
6. That he does the dishes and never asks me to.
7. That I can cry every day over every sappy movie and commercial that I come across and he just hugs me when I do.
8. That he thinks I'm beautiful, when CLEARLY I'm overdue for a shower.
9. That he's so honest
10. That he's such a diehard Detroit Lions fan....no matter what.
11. That he tells me he loves me all the time
12. That he kisses me all the time
13. That he is just the most amazing Daddy
14. The way he brags about my cooking, no matter HOW discussting it is.
15. Being silly with him.

And last but not least....

I love being married to him, because......

I get to be married to him.

I love you!

Please remember

I was watching the clip "Once Upon a Christmas" from the KEnny and Dolly movie I mentioned in the survey earlier, and it got me thinking....

Side note...watch the clip on youtube (link's above) as it's probably one of the most beautiful songs. Old, out-dated clip, but gorgeous song....

Anyway.

I got to thinking about how homesick I am. I miss everyone and everything about home. I love being American and I wish we were back there. Now, for those of you who don't already know, I usually get this way fairly close to flying home. This is nothing new. I'm good the rest of the time, but I get weepy and anxious shortly before coming home....I take "excited" to a whole new level.

Now, you may ask, why would that clip make me homesick?

Well, every year, Mom would put that movie in the VCR (yes, I'm old...I grew up with a VCR) and that's what we would listen to as we decorated the house and the tree. Every year. And that was when we knew it was Christmas season. I actually remember thinking that we couldn't start until we found that movie to put in. Funny, huh?

Now, it's been several years since I've watched that movie, and Mom's copy (I say mom and not mom & dad as I don't think Dad wants to admit to owning it) has long since worn out, but I will forever think of that movie as the Christmas Movie.

Then, thinking of that, I began thinking about getting homesick for Heaven. I love my family so much that when I do everything I can to keep in contact with them. That way, when I can get home, they will want me there. I was homesick when I moved out in 2001 and even before that in 1997 and beyond when I was at Purdue. Home is a safe place, a peaceful place. Somewhere that I go because I'm loved and wanted. And I do everything in my power to get home when I can.

So why aren't we homesick for Heaven? Why don't we "call home", "send letters", "spend time with our Father? He loves us more than anyone ever can, and, yet, do we ever miss Him? Do we do everything humanly possible to make sure He runs to the door and waits anxiously when we arrive? Jesus is our ONLY way into heaven. The ONLY way. Deeds don't do it. Neither does duty. Jesus is the only way. And, yet, we never find time for Him. There's always an excuse to not go to church. Or there's always a "better, more interesting" book to read than the Bible, and yet, these are God's venues to communicate with us. Why wouldn't we want them?

I've downloaded Skype, Windows Live, and Facebook to ensure that I keep in contact with everyone. We call home regularly and send cards. And, yet, I feel I fall short in keeping in contact with God.

Why?

I want to find a story book for Hazel that tells of the Christmas story. One that's colorful and 1 year old friendly so she's interested (I know, I know, but she's 1...give me a break). Because I don't want her to grow up thinking that Santa Clause is the symbol of Christmas. I want her to know what the star on top of the tree (is supposed to) signifies, the story of the Candy Cane, and most importantly that Jesus came to earth on that day to be the most important person in our lives...in history. That He came to earth as a person, a human, a baby, to know what it's like to be us.

Here's the NLT translation of the Story if you don't have a Bible, and if you do, and it's dusty, you'll find the passage in Matthew 1:18-2:23....

The Birth of Jesus the Messiah

18 This is how Jesus the Messiah was born. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. But before the marriage took place, while she was still a virgin, she became pregnant through the power of the Holy Spirit. 19 Joseph, her fiancé, was a good man and did not want to disgrace her publicly, so he decided to break the engagement[h] quietly.
20 As he considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream. “Joseph, son of David,” the angel said, “do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife. For the child within her was conceived by the Holy Spirit. 21 And she will have a son, and you are to name him Jesus,[i] for he will save his people from their sins.”
22 All of this occurred to fulfill the Lord’s message through his prophet:
23 “Look! The virgin will conceive a child! She will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel,[j] which means ‘God is with us.’”
24 When Joseph woke up, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded and took Mary as his wife. 25 But he did not have sexual relations with her until her son was born. And Joseph named him Jesus.

Matthew 2

Visitors from the East

Jesus was born in Bethlehem in Judea, during the reign of King Herod. About that time some wise men[a] from eastern lands arrived in Jerusalem, asking, 2 “Where is the newborn king of the Jews? We saw his star as it rose,[b] and we have come to worship him.”
3 King Herod was deeply disturbed when he heard this, as was everyone in Jerusalem. 4 He called a meeting of the leading priests and teachers of religious law and asked, “Where is the Messiah supposed to be born?”
5 “In Bethlehem in Judea,” they said, “for this is what the prophet wrote:
6 ‘And you, O Bethlehem in the land of Judah, are not least among the ruling cities[c] of Judah, for a ruler will come from you who will be the shepherd for my people Israel.’[d]”
7 Then Herod called for a private meeting with the wise men, and he learned from them the time when the star first appeared. 8 Then he told them, “Go to Bethlehem and search carefully for the child. And when you find him, come back and tell me so that I can go and worship him, too!”
9 After this interview the wise men went their way. And the star they had seen in the east guided them to Bethlehem. It went ahead of them and stopped over the place where the child was. 10 When they saw the star, they were filled with joy! 11 They entered the house and saw the child with his mother, Mary, and they bowed down and worshiped him. Then they opened their treasure chests and gave him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.
12 When it was time to leave, they returned to their own country by another route, for God had warned them in a dream not to return to Herod.
The Escape to Egypt

13 After the wise men were gone, an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream. “Get up! Flee to Egypt with the child and his mother,” the angel said. “Stay there until I tell you to return, because Herod is going to search for the child to kill him.”
14 That night Joseph left for Egypt with the child and Mary, his mother, 15 and they stayed there until Herod’s death. This fulfilled what the Lord had spoken through the prophet: “I called my Son out of Egypt.”[e]
16 Herod was furious when he realized that the wise men had outwitted him. He sent soldiers to kill all the boys in and around Bethlehem who were two years old and under, based on the wise men’s report of the star’s first appearance. 17 Herod’s brutal action fulfilled what God had spoken through the prophet Jeremiah:
18 “A cry was heard in Ramah— weeping and great mourning. Rachel weeps for her children, refusing to be comforted, for they are dead.”[f]

The Return to Nazareth

19 When Herod died, an angel of the Lord appeared in a dream to Joseph in Egypt. 20 “Get up!” the angel said. “Take the child and his mother back to the land of Israel, because those who were trying to kill the child are dead.”
21 So Joseph got up and returned to the land of Israel with Jesus and his mother. 22 But when he learned that the new ruler of Judea was Herod’s son Archelaus, he was afraid to go there. Then, after being warned in a dream, he left for the region of Galilee. 23 So the family went and lived in a town called Nazareth. This fulfilled what the prophets had said: “He will be called a Nazarene.”

Please remember as you trim the tree, why your doing it. Please remember when you are shopping for that "perfect" gift and wrapping it beautifully who you're celebrating with that Present. And please remember, when you're sick for home, that your Heavenly Father is waiting for you to be sick for Him and His home, too!

Stolen Surveys...

OK, Sorry, T, I stealed your Christmas survey (which you stole first from the Knit for Joy blog) and now I'm stealing from you! Why? you may ask....

What else is there to do when you feel sick? No one wants to hear about snot again :)

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?

Usually gift bags...I'm horrible at wrapping, though I do try every once in a while.

2. Real tree or Artificial?

Artificial, I'm allergic to that real stuff

3. When do you put up the tree?

We try to do it Thanksgiving weekend. Usually it happens, this year it did!

4. When do you take the tree down?

After we get home from the holidays. Usually it gets left up through New Year's regardless. I like the pretty lights on NYE, and that way I don't have to re-decorate. Yes, it is lazy.

5. Do you like eggnog?

SOOOOOO much. But I'm going to have to learn to make it from scratch here as it's not something you can buy at the store...this actually seems to be the trend....

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

It's killing me, I can't remember what it was called but it was a doll that had fuzzy skin that was supposed to feel "real"...oh, I'll have to ask mom.

7. Hardest person to buy for?

Brett. Every year. It sucks.

8. Easiest person to buy for?

T--I would agree that would be easy. However, this year I have to say Hazel, as I'm having a hard time NOT buying everything I see.

9. Do you have a nativity scene?

Yes *sniff*sniff* we have 2. A Veggie Tales one for Hazel and a pretty one for Mommy. And they're both in storage in Kokomo. *sniff*sniff*

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?

Before now I would say snail mail, but as it costs $1.20 (we did the math) to send EACH card to the US, and I have 30 to send, we're going to abstain this year. I still love everyone, though.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

I recieved the nastiest and smelliest bath set one year. It was just rancid smelling. And I don't think there was any thought put into it, which makes it just that much worse.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Once upon a Christmas with Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton. I know. But it's what we decorated the Christmas tree to EVERY year when I was growing up, and it just feels like Christmas to me. I wish with all my heart that I owned it so I could use it when we decorate. It just feels like home. And now I'm crying...geeze.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

I try to start around August. No, I'm not that organized. I just usually start finding things that would be perfect for so and so...

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present?

I don't know that I ever have actually. I usually want whatever I get and the few things I haven't have gone the way of Goodwill.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Sweet Potatoes. Granny Mary style. Yum. Hey, T, I want Periogies. MAke extra...consider that my christmas present :)

16. Lights on the tree?

Yes. However, this year we've joined the tacky club and our tree has FIBRE OPTICS. Really. Thankfully it's pretty anyway. Normally I like watching my hubby with limited patience try and untangle the real ones.

17. Favorite Christmas song?

I like them all! Away in a Manger probably tops the list though.

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I'm not even dignifying this question with a response.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer's?

How can you not if you have kids? Or know the Rudolph song? Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen, Rudolph

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?

Stars. I think they're gorgeous, plus it's what announced to the world that our Savior had been born!!!! The reason for the season!

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?

Hmmm. Well, we start doing "Pocket presents" (a Harger tradition where we put 7 small gifts under the tree to count down a week until Christmas...kind of an advent thing) 7 days prior to Christmas, then we get one gift on Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas day. However, this year, The Irish Davis' will be having Christmas on the 21st (Santa phoned to say he was dropping by early), Harger Christmas on the 24th (I think...we're praying for the 26th), Davis Family Christmas on the 25th. Aren't you glad you asked?

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year?

When people write Merry X-Mas! Quit taking Christ out of the holiday people! Oh, and the fact that stores and the media won't say Merry Christmas. I know not everyone celebrates Christmas, but it still annoys me. (Well put, Theresa, I'm stealing your answer and adding...) When people who don't believe in God or Christ celebrate the holiday. I don't celebrate Hannukah. Or any of the holidays other religions celebrate. Why would you denounce Christianity and then give gifts? So stupid.

23. Favorite ornament theme or color?

I like ornaments to have meaning. I think it's beautiful when you can tell a story about all the ornaments.

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner?

Mmmmm. American christmas food. Mmmmmm. Any of it.

25. What do you want for Christmas this year?

Safe travel. And to be healthy. And to miraculously get all my knitting done. Honestly, this year, getting home and seeing everyone is what I want for Christmas. I'm kinda homesick.

26. Who is most likely to blog about this?

Well, I stole this from T, so Beth maybe?

27. Lights, blinking or always on?

Always on. Our tree blinks and it's slowly making me wanna stab myself.

And that's why I do it.....

I wish I could relay to you the love I feel for my darling little girl. I could spend every second of every day for the rest of eternity telling you about my love for her and wouldn't come anywhere near expressing what she means to me.

She's beautiful. She's so sweet. She's interested in everything. She adventurous (sometimes to her mommy and daddy's distress). She's happy. She's funny. She wows me every day with how smart she is.

Now I know there are a lot of moms out there (most, I hope) that feel that way about their children. But I love my little one from here until the ends of the Earth. And I can't wait to love more babies this way. I feel horrible for moms who aren't able to stay home with their children, and I my heartaches for those moms who don't want to. I know not all moms want to stay at home, and I give them kudos for recognizing that their kids will benefit better from alternate means of child care. I am just personally grateful to the good Lord that he gave me the strength, patience, and means to be able to stay home. I am very lucky and I will never know why he made it possible for me to stay home, I just know I will thank and praise him for the rest of my life and beyond.

Today, she woke up from her insanely short nap, just crying and crying. I ran upstairs to "rescue" her, and found her lying in her bed face covered with snot and more (read: green) hanging from her nose. Her cheeks were 12 shades of red, and the tears that normally subside when I enter her room just continued to flow.

I gave her a big hug and brought her downstairs and sat on the couch with her on my lap. The tears just kept coming and the look on her face said, "Help me, Mommy. Make it feel better."

So I took her flannel PJ shirt off, wiped her nose and face, then got our friend the Booger Sucker out (and Aspirator for those who like the techincal terms...if you don't know either, google it)...which makes her scream, but also allows her to breathe...had a little Nurofen and sat together watching the rest of Mommy's movie (Defenitely Maybe...way cute...go rent it). The tears didn't stop flowing for 15 minutes or so, but we just sat and snuggled while we waited for the nurofen to kick in. Finally, she started feeling better and would look and talk to me through sniffs. It's not much more than babbling, but she's mastering more and more words and so the babbling actually sounds like she's trying to tell me something important. Anyway, she just stopped talking, grabbed my hand and interlaced her fingers in mine.

I burst into tears.

I couldn't help it. It was the sweetest, most grown up affectionate thing she's ever done and I wanted to freeze time there forever. Especially when I know that in the blink of an eye, she'll be in Kindergarten, then she'll be a teenager not longer after that and HATE me, and just when she starts liking me again, she'll be moving out and all these moments will be lost.

And that is why I stay home....

And that is why my house is constantly a disaster....

And that's why I'm quickly running out of knitting time for Christmas.

Because I get one chance to be with my little girl. I get one chance to kiss her and tell her I love her every second she's awake. I get one chance to kiss the boo-boo's. I get one chance to teach her that no matter what, her Daddy and I will be here for her. I only get one chance, and if I let it, I may wake up one morning and find that the chance has passed.

And I could never live with myself if I didn't take of every chance I get with her.

Thank you Father, for blessing me in uncountable ways. You are an amazing God. May I make you proud as a mommy to this wonderful little one whom you trusted me with. Amen.

Lost...

Now I consider myself a fairly high functioning person in the morning. (I know those of you who knew me prior to Hazel are disagreeing, but things change when you have a little one who IS a morning person) I manage to get up with Hazel during the week somewhere between 6 and 8, bring her downstairs, change her diaper, get her a sippy cup full of milk, and stare blankly at the TV. Now, granted, that isn't a lot going on, but I manage to get stuff done should we be doing more than lounging around the house all day. And often that involves getting her dressed and ready to drive Brett to work should we want the car for the day!

I also manage to accomplish all of this without coffee or tea. I do, I promise.

That being said, though, my functionality is very tunneled toward child care. Beyond that, I don't do too well. I rarely have much to talk about and I'm certainly not geared for any problem solving that early.

This morning, however, pushed my morning brain to it's limits.

Let me explain.

The child care aspect of my morning faired the same as any other day. Got up, diaper, milk, happy kid. Brett, on the other hand, was banking on my ability to problem solve.

Here was the conversation:

Brett: Carli, where did you put the keys to the front door?---(for those who don't know, we only
have one set)

Me: I dunno, they should be on the table.

Brett: They aren't there, where else could you have put them?

Me: I don't know, they're either in my coat pocket, on the table, or....wait, you had them last, you were the one who locked the front door before we went to bed.

Brett: Did I? Well, the only place I would have put them would be the table. So where are they?

Me: I don't know! Could you have carried them off somewhere?

He ran upstairs, and this conversation went on for 20 minutes. TWENTY minutes! My brain doesn't work that well in the morning. But we continued to look EVERYWHERE they might have been and even places they might NOT have been (aka the Fridge). Finally, when he was officially late for work, the morning genius that was previously sound asleep in my head, woke up.

Me: Did you grab both sets of keys this morning? (we have 2 key fobs, one with front door keys and the other to our patio doors...he typically takes the patio as H and I are home all day)

Brett: No.

Cue Brett looking sheepish.

He produced 2 sets of keys.

Maybe I'm overestimating the severity of the situation this morning. Maybe the whole morning was, in fact, simply child care. I just had an extra child.

:)

Mommy needs a nap

I seriously have an attitude problem today. I'm absurdly exhausted from the weekend, and Hazel's not wanting a nap. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

I've been trying to get stuff for Christmas done, and I just keep screwing them up. 24 days until Christmas means I have 21 days before we fly out and that leaves 20 days to get *bleep* together.

Plus, Hazel is in EVERYTHING. So I put stuff up, and she just gets in OTHER stuff. She doesn't want to play with me, everything I get out for us to do, she walks over, takes out of my hands and then sets it down somewhere else in the apartment.

I'm seriously going to have someone's head.

And I know it's me, because I've been sitting here getting honked off at Brett for something that happened 3 days ago. Something that I would have a right to be angry about, but if I was going to be upset about it, I should have gotten angry earlier than now.

Well I need to go get lunch ready so the nut and I can take a nap. I apparently woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and we need to remedy that....